- Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.
- Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
- Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
- Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
- Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
- If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
- If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
- Never buy a car you can’t push.
- Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.
- Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
- The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.
- The Second mouse gets the cheese
- When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
- Birthdays are good for you, the more you have, the longer you live.
- You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.
- Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
- Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
- A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
- Happiness comes through doors you didn’t even know you left open.
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